#95: A Good Thing

Early yesterday morning, as the outer bands of Hurricane Matthew hit Newport, Michelle and I decided it would be cool to get umbrellas and go for a family walk on the famed Cliff Walk.

About 15 minutes into the admittedly windy and rainy walk the girls start to voice their displeasure. Michelle says “I want to hear less complaining and hear you each say something that is good about this walk.”

Madi thinks, then says “Something that is good about this walk is nothing.”

Maia thinks as well, but her response is, “Something that would be good about this walk is getting out this hurricane and going home!”

Family time fail.


#94: KFC is IT

Maia wrote the following about KFC at school: 

“People may think that Friendly’s is better than KFC. That is not it at all. KFC is it.”

After breaking down why, she summarized her points by saying, “Sooo, as you see KFC is better than Friendly’s anytime.”


#93: The Good News and The Bad News


Maia gets sent home with a note from her first grade teacher. I ask her to explain what happened.

“Well… the good news is I did go to the bathroom. The bad news is some girls were ice skating on paper towels in the bathroom. I didn’t use paper towels, but I did start dancing.”

That’s my kid! ­čśä

#92: You sound like….

I sing a Taylor Swift song along with the girls. When it’s done…

Me: “I think I sounded just like Taylor Swift there, just saying.”

Maia: “Dad, you sounded like a crazy person trying to act WEIRD.”

Ok, you could have just said “Not really.”


#91: Marriage Rules

Madi: “Dad, I’m going to marry Anish and Jonah when I get older.”

Me: “You can only marry one person Madi.”

Maia: “That’s not true Dad!!! My friend Kevin is going to marry both Abbie and me.”

Apparently marriage is a little different in the new generation.

#90: Pee Pee Dance

I just get into the bathroom when there is a knock on the door…

Me: “I’m in here, be out in a sec.”

Maia: “Ugh!! Me and Madisen both have to go potty.”

Me: “Alright, I’m going potty. I’ll be right out.”

Maia: “Can you hurry up?!! I’m doing the really bad pee pee dance out here!”

#89: New Rule

Because Maia and her sister are filling themselves up with snacks and not eating meals, we made a rule of no more snacks in my car when I pick them up in the afternoon.

Day 1:

Maia: ” Dad, do you have a snack?”

Me: “No, remember we made the rule ‘no more snacks in my car’ ?”

Maia: ” I don’t like it.”

Me: “Get used to it kid, the rule’s here to stay. You weren’t eating your meals.”

Intense pause.

Maia: “If you don’t give me a snack, I won’t eat my dinner.”

Me: ” If you don’t eat your dinner you won’t get dessert.”

Maia gives me the evil eye.

“I’m not playing this game with you.”


Thanks for the parenting advice Pink Floyd.


#88: That’s Life Kid

Madi: “Dad, why are you coughing?”

Maia: “Dad has a cold. Some people cough, some get sick…some people GET HURT. That’s life kid.”

#87: Ghosts Like Candy

Maia: “Dad, do you know if ghosts like candy?”

Me: “I don’t know, Maia. I’ve never met a ghost. Why do you ask?”

Maia: “I assume they do, because why else would they show up at Halloween?”

Can’t argue with that logic!!

#86: Nana’s House Rules

We’re up at my Mom’s house. We wake up in the morning…

Me: “Hi Maia, what are you going to make for me for breakfast?!”

Maia: “I’m not making you nothin’! That’s Nana’s job!”

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